family

See these bikes in my driveway? They don’t belong to us. They belong to the neighbor kids. We have neighbor kids!

For eight years we lived on a busy street that didn’t have any kids my kids age.

But this neighborhood has kids! Not only do they have kids, but it’s safe for the kids to play in street!

I never thought I would see the day where my kids are playing with other kids from the neighborhood.

What about you? Are there any kids in your neighborhood for your kids to play with?

I’ve mentioned before that I like to do art with my children. Well, actually I don’t do the art I just set out the materials and let them create.

One day I had the brilliant idea to let them make sculptures. We had some clay that if left out would harden. Perfect. I would give each child some clay and let them create their own sculptures. I had planned on placing the sculptures on the fireplace mantel so I could admire them at all times.

I decorate with my kids art pieces. I have pottery that my eldest has made, paintings from all three kiddos, and a painted rock from one of the older two (I used to have two rocks but I have no idea what happened to one of them). Sculpture would be the perfect addition to my decor.

I was excited! I think I was more excited than they were but that’s beside the point. I had the table covered with newspaper and the clay was out. I gave each child some clay and stepped back to watch them create.

And create they tried. And tried. And tried. The clay was too hard for them to work with. We tried breaking the clay into smaller pieces to see if that would help but nope they still couldn’t get the clay to do anything. Oh they could make balls, snakes, and my youngest was able to make crumbs but they couldn’t get the clay to move in a way for them to make something.

What started out as a pleasant time quickly turned to tears and frustration. I reminded the kids that there are other kinds of clay and this doesn’t affect their ability to make fine creations. It was trial and error and this was one of those times that didn’t go as we had expected. It would be okay and we would try again with a different kind of clay. Or we could try again with this clay, it was up to them.

I started this interview process trying to get my kiddos top ten summer activities but all the boys had to say was video games, swimming, and playing. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get anything else out of them.

On the other hand, my 2 1/2 year old was more than willing to talk to me. As a matter of fact, even when the interview was over, she kept talking and pointed to my paper so I could write down what she was saying.

Me: What is your favorite thing to do in the summer?

Daughter: Running with the boys. Wearing my brothers shirts. Playing with dinosaurs. Not hurting everybody. (she tends to chase the dog and I have to tell her to leave the dog alone. The dog doesn’t know that she won’t hurt her.) Running with horses and doggies.

Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Daughter: I’m not growing up.

Me: What is your favorite food?

Daughter: Macaroni and Cheese (funny, she NEVER eats it. She won’t even take a bite.)

Me: What is your favorite color?

Daughter: Green, black, and green and yellow.

Me: What is your favorite drink?

Daughter: Juice, water and milk.

Me: What is your favorite song?

Daughter: Jonas Brothers.

Me: What is your favorite job?

Daughter: Playing with shirts.

Me: What is your favorite animal?

Daughter: Dinosaurs.

Me: I love you. Thank you for answering my questions.

Daughter: You’re welcome.

Lately my nine year old has been backtalking and talking with a know-it-all tone of voice. If we tell him something he already knows it and has no problem letting us know we are not as smart as him. He also chooses to not believe us when we explain something to him because he’s knows the truth and it’s not what we have told him.

I know every child will probably go through this. I know we came upon this much sooner than we thought. I mean really, shouldn’t this happen when they are teenagers?

My question to you is this…how do you discipline your child when they behave this way? I’ll go first.  I have been taking away his video games and explaining to him why I took it away. I also warn him before the games are taken away so he has time to change his attitude.

We have recently moved so I took my son to a doctor that came highly recommended by our peers. The purpose of the visit was to establish a relationship with the new doctor and to start my son back on his ADHD medication.

Our previous doctor’s office hadn’t faxed my son’s records so I was filling the doctor in on all that has happened to start our son on medication. We were chatting away (as in the doctor was caring and took his time with us) and several things he had to say about boys I had heard before but never from a doctor. It was quite an interesting conversation, here are some of the highlights…

• It should be mandatory for boys to be in some kind of sport to burn off extra energy.
• If they are in too strict of an environment they will act up.
• It is normal for boys to be wiggly in their seat.
  
• If a child can do his chores and follow simple directions then he probably does not need medication.
• Sometimes a child will get behind in school work. That’s fine. They are young enough that the work can easily be made up.

• Boys will usually outgrow ADHD or at least learn how to manage it.

Please understand that my son is nine years old so he was partially referring to his age group in some instances. Yet in the others, he was referring to boys in general.

My question to you is at what point do you decide to put your child on ADHD medication? Have you noticed a difference in their behavior and school work? Is there anything you would like to add to the above list?

The following post was written by my friend Mary Jones.

My girls tucked me in last night…

Being a single mother of twin eleven year olds has made me reflect more lately then I ever have before in their life. We have, my girls and I, encountered some spiritual and some natural struggles in our short life together. This time in our life seems to be a reflective time for me.

I silently watch as they pour back to me the things I have poured into them over the years.

Last night I was not feeling well, and I went to lay down in my bed. My girls came in and stood around my bed and sweetly told me goodnight, kissed me and patted me gently.

This morning I was thinking about being a better mother…because I always feel that I suck at it. I remembered that I hadn’t read to them in bed lately nor have I tucked them in. Before I could get to wrapped up in the guilt I was diligently trying to bring to my tortured mind The spirit of God reminded me of some things…
… My girls tucked ME into bed last night.
… when I explain to my girls that I am tired and I don’t want to play scrabble, they ask if they can put lotion on my feet.
…when one child asks what is for dinner and the other sees that my eyes has glazed over with overwhelming apprehension…she asks if she can cook tonight.
…when I am sick and I can’t remember the words to pray, they get up on my bed and remind me of the things I have taught them over the years.
… I watch them with tears in my eyes as they nurture their individual kittens. The way they gently teach their kittens with love and distraction; instead of striking them with force or punishment. I giggle at their look of horror on their innocent face as the teens around them try to teach the girls how to make their kittens behave. My girls naturally remove the kitten from the bad behavior they’re exhibiting and kiss them and tell them they love them and put them on the floor and distract them with play instead of hitting them, as they are told to do. My girls look at me for guidance, and I only have to smile at them, because they already know how would handle the situation. I have made them strong in the ability to tell an older person that they are wrong and show them that this is how we discipline a wayward kitty.

Of course it is not always beauty and light, when I lose my temper and throw stupid words out, my child will remind me again of things I have showed her as she grew up . Professions of Gods way of guiding us. My eyebrow raises as she teaches me my own words… from my own face… and I must take deep breaths…

My girls are eleven now and I have mourned the loss of my chubby fingered, dirty faced little girls who worship the ground I walk on. I grieve for the look of adoration as it turns to defiant looks of exasperation.

Our way of showing each other love has changed , yet the love we feel has not changed.
They no longer curl up in my lap, wrapping their arms around my neck facing me with their legs wrapped around my torso, hugging me closely. Yet the show of love continues as I watch them with various baby cousins and of course their beloved kitties.

Watching them teach the lost around us God’s words with vehement belief makes me shake my head in wonderment. The air of confidence they speak as His love, made physical , pours from their lips and I realize that it was Him the whole time, growing them, loving them…I was just an interloper on the experience.

I humbly bow to the Father and thank Him for letting me witness the truth of love instead of hate or jealousy or envy.

I see now… it was always about love…

Son: What’s that?

Me: I’m going to mop.

Son: Not while there’s a man in the kitchen!

Apparently my son has a sense of humor. He was assigned the task of writing a poem and this is what he wrote:

My Family

My family is a reck.

Our dog pees on the floor.

My room is a mess.

We have to eat on the floor.

The kitchen is the worst.

Our dog eats ants.

Whats next?

I’m so proud of him. I have it displayed on the dining room wall of art for all to see. Yes, our family is a wreck…whose isn’t.