I’m thinking this must be the month/year I am finally starting to face some of my fears.
Last month I enrolled in college after an eleven year break. I realized fear was the only thing holding me back so I took the plunge.
Today I joined our community gym. To some of you that may not seem like a big deal but to me it was huge.
You see, I’m overweight and have insecurity issues. I know that going to the gym will help me lose the weight yet I have been too scared of being the fat girl. It’s hard going into a gym filled with skinny people when you are a large girl.
It’s hard going into a gym knowing that others are going to make fun of you. Don’t tell me it doesn’t happen because my old pastor mentioned from the pulpit once how he and another guy would do that when people signed up for memberships and the other guy confirmed it.
That comment was made several years ago and I’m pretty sure Pastor didn’t mean it the way it sounded but it kept me from joining a gym for years. As a matter of fact, I didn’t do any form of exercise out in public for fear of being ridiculed. (Like I said, I have insecurity issues.)
Anyway, I’m tired of being overweight and if you look through my Weight Loss category you can see a few of my attempts at losing weight. Last November I joined our local Curves and fell in love with it. It’s all women and I wasn’t the only big girl there. I also had a great staff encouraging me and have lost 10 pounds since I’ve joined. However, they don’t offer child care and it’s getting difficult with Hubby’s work schedule for me to get there in time to workout.
Since child care is becoming a vital asset to my workout I quit Curves and joined our local community gym. A gym that has child care, classes, and an indoor walking/running track. A gym where there might be people who are making fun of the fat girl. And you know what? I don’t give a crap if they are making fun of me.
I realized I am letting what I think others are thinking of me ruin my loosing weight. How stupid is that!?! How did I get so insecure? Why do I care what they are thinking? I realized my health is more important that what I perceive others might be thinking.
For once I feel great about working out. I have finally found a program that is working for me. I’ve been doing the Couch Potato to 5K Running and found some podcasts that follow the program.
I have always wanted to jog/run but haven’t ever stuck to it because of child care and mental issues (mental issues being fear). I’ve tried the Couch Potato to 5K program before but I was doing it on an elliptical and it kicked my butt. Not only did doing it on an elliptical kick my butt but it was too difficult resetting the timer to run or walk and keep track of what running set I was on.
That’s where the podcasts come in. I found those on line, listened to part of the first one and was in heaven. Finally! I could actually see this becoming a reality! All I had to do was download the podcasts and go. The podcasts tell me when to warm up, when to run, when to walk, and what set I’m on. Not only that but it is set to music so I don’t get bored while exercising. I love it!
Not only am I getting over my fears but I’m also getting an excellent workout at the same time. I’m finally doing something for myself. I’m taking control of my weight. For the first time in years I can actually see the weight coming off and staying off.
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Hopefully you will find a similar experience to mine. I’ve been a member of the Y for about a year and did it off and on before that, and I was scared to death of being ridiculed, but I never noticed one instance of someone doing that. If they did, they hid it well. I instead found lots of encouragement and support. I hope your experience is similar to mine.
They are finally building the new one here- I can’t wait!