Drinking With My Church Buddies

Last night for the first time in six years I was drunk. Not tipsy, not buzzed, but d.r.u.n.k.

Not only was I drunk but I was chatting with my church group friends that I have only known for about a week. How embarrassing. I can’t believe I did that. What a statement I am making to my friends. It reminds me of the I love Jesus but I drink a little video I saw over at Whittaker Woman’s blog.

As embarrassing as it was I am glad that it happened. Being drunk and then hungover the next day opened my eyes to why I quit drinking in the first place. I can’t handle alcohol. There used to be a time in my life when I would question why I wanted a drink. What was the root reason to my wanting a drink? Once I knew the reason I was able to find another better way to pacify that want.

My husband and I have noticed that we have been drinking more than we used to. We used to have a glass of wine maybe twice a week. Slowly over time we moved to a beer in the evening. Then to save money we bought Captain Morgan to mix with our Cola since we were drinking Cola anyway. Then we were having several beers or a beer and Captain Morgan in the evenings. At one point several weeks ago, our extra refrigerator was filled with alcohol and we realized we needed to stop.

Unfortunately, last night I didn’t stop. I was thirsty so I would fix more wine. I can handle wine…no problem. Only it was a problem and it continued until I got sick. Yuck. Needless to say, I have figured out I have a problem with alcohol.

I spent today in prayer asking God why I felt like I had to have alcohol. He told me that I was using the alcohol to fill a need that I should be getting from him. I was replacing my relationship with him with alcohol. I was turning to alcohol instead of him. That really shook me up and I realized he was right.

I am still in prayer about this as I know there is more to uncover as I get to the root of the problem. I am going to start questioning my motives when I want a drink and am asking forgiveness from my church friends.

By the way, the kids were in bed asleep while I was drinking my wine and hubby wasn’t drinking at all. Just so you don’t think I’m completely irresponsible.

What about you? What do you struggle with?

Photo credit: Ingorrr

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Tagged as: Ramblings