My Girls Tucked me in Last Night…

The following post was written by my friend Mary Jones.

My girls tucked me in last night…

Being a single mother of twin eleven year olds has made me reflect more lately then I ever have before in their life. We have, my girls and I, encountered some spiritual and some natural struggles in our short life together. This time in our life seems to be a reflective time for me.

I silently watch as they pour back to me the things I have poured into them over the years.

Last night I was not feeling well, and I went to lay down in my bed. My girls came in and stood around my bed and sweetly told me goodnight, kissed me and patted me gently.

This morning I was thinking about being a better mother…because I always feel that I suck at it. I remembered that I hadn’t read to them in bed lately nor have I tucked them in. Before I could get to wrapped up in the guilt I was diligently trying to bring to my tortured mind The spirit of God reminded me of some things…
… My girls tucked ME into bed last night.
… when I explain to my girls that I am tired and I don’t want to play scrabble, they ask if they can put lotion on my feet.
…when one child asks what is for dinner and the other sees that my eyes has glazed over with overwhelming apprehension…she asks if she can cook tonight.
…when I am sick and I can’t remember the words to pray, they get up on my bed and remind me of the things I have taught them over the years.
… I watch them with tears in my eyes as they nurture their individual kittens. The way they gently teach their kittens with love and distraction; instead of striking them with force or punishment. I giggle at their look of horror on their innocent face as the teens around them try to teach the girls how to make their kittens behave. My girls naturally remove the kitten from the bad behavior they’re exhibiting and kiss them and tell them they love them and put them on the floor and distract them with play instead of hitting them, as they are told to do. My girls look at me for guidance, and I only have to smile at them, because they already know how would handle the situation. I have made them strong in the ability to tell an older person that they are wrong and show them that this is how we discipline a wayward kitty.

Of course it is not always beauty and light, when I lose my temper and throw stupid words out, my child will remind me again of things I have showed her as she grew up . Professions of Gods way of guiding us. My eyebrow raises as she teaches me my own words… from my own face… and I must take deep breaths…

My girls are eleven now and I have mourned the loss of my chubby fingered, dirty faced little girls who worship the ground I walk on. I grieve for the look of adoration as it turns to defiant looks of exasperation.

Our way of showing each other love has changed , yet the love we feel has not changed.
They no longer curl up in my lap, wrapping their arms around my neck facing me with their legs wrapped around my torso, hugging me closely. Yet the show of love continues as I watch them with various baby cousins and of course their beloved kitties.

Watching them teach the lost around us God’s words with vehement belief makes me shake my head in wonderment. The air of confidence they speak as His love, made physical , pours from their lips and I realize that it was Him the whole time, growing them, loving them…I was just an interloper on the experience.

I humbly bow to the Father and thank Him for letting me witness the truth of love instead of hate or jealousy or envy.

I see now… it was always about love…