July 2008

I’ve mentioned before that I like to do art with my children. Well, actually I don’t do the art I just set out the materials and let them create.

One day I had the brilliant idea to let them make sculptures. We had some clay that if left out would harden. Perfect. I would give each child some clay and let them create their own sculptures. I had planned on placing the sculptures on the fireplace mantel so I could admire them at all times.

I decorate with my kids art pieces. I have pottery that my eldest has made, paintings from all three kiddos, and a painted rock from one of the older two (I used to have two rocks but I have no idea what happened to one of them). Sculpture would be the perfect addition to my decor.

I was excited! I think I was more excited than they were but that’s beside the point. I had the table covered with newspaper and the clay was out. I gave each child some clay and stepped back to watch them create.

And create they tried. And tried. And tried. The clay was too hard for them to work with. We tried breaking the clay into smaller pieces to see if that would help but nope they still couldn’t get the clay to do anything. Oh they could make balls, snakes, and my youngest was able to make crumbs but they couldn’t get the clay to move in a way for them to make something.

What started out as a pleasant time quickly turned to tears and frustration. I reminded the kids that there are other kinds of clay and this doesn’t affect their ability to make fine creations. It was trial and error and this was one of those times that didn’t go as we had expected. It would be okay and we would try again with a different kind of clay. Or we could try again with this clay, it was up to them.

What I’ve learned:

Matthew 7:1-5 “Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For by the standard you judge you will be judged, and the measure you use will be the measure you receive. Why do you see the speck in your brother’s eye, but fail to see the beam of wood in your own? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye,’ while there is a beam in your own? You hypocrite! First remove the beam from your own eye, and then you can see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

I learned this the hard way. I have always been a critical person and quick to judge others. For example, there was a certain boy in our church that was a huge troublemaker. He was violent, defiant, and wouldn’t listen to anybody nor did he care what you did to him discipline-wise. I always breathed a sigh of relief if he wasn’t at church and dreaded it when he was. It was hectic when he was there but nice and peaceful when he wasn’t.

If only his parents would do something about him. They knew he was a handful and they weren’t doing anything about it. Hello! Your child is a terror and we have to devote so much time to him that we aren’t able to teach the other children about God! Get.A.Clue. would ya!

Then came the day that Best Friend and I stepped down from children’s ministry and other people took our place. Enter my son. My son that was violent, defiant, and wouldn’t listen to anybody nor did he care what you did to him discipline-wise. My son that I couldn’t see what was happening because I have this huge log sticking out of my eye and using it to whack others who have only tiny specks. My son was acting the same way but I couldn’t see it.

I was quick to judge the other parent but when it was my own child I didn’t know what to do. I was parenting the best I could but for some reason it seemed as though it wasn’t working. I started dreading going to church because I knew I was being judged and was tired of the teachers telling me about my child’s behavior and expecting me to do something about it. I was tired of people giving me parenting advice and telling me what I needed to do. I was reaping what I had sowed and it sucked.

Matthew 7:7-12 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Is there anyone among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you then, although you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! In everything, treat others as you would want them to treat you, for this fulfills the law and the prophets.”

While reading these verses I was thinking about love. What happened to loving people? What about grace? Where is the grace that I should be extending to others?

Another thing I was thinking was the words ask, seek, and knock. It reminded me of the stages of friendship but I haven’t reflected on it enough to know if it’s correct or not. I was thinking about how Best Friend and I became friends. First I asked for her number to call her. Then I sought (seek) her by calling. Then eventually I knocked on her door for a visit. This became a common practice for us and our relationship grew stronger over the years. I think it’s like this with our relationship with Christ. I don’t know if that’s really the point or not but that’s what I was thinking.

Now it’s your turn. What did you get out of this weeks lesson?

So if you have strange problems after manually updating wordpress to 2.6 and you’re using Dreamhost I suggest you comment out

define('DB_CHARSET', 'utf8');

in the wp-config.php that is located your blog’s root directory.

I was following along with the upgrade instructions from wordpress.org. After updating all the files, I went to this blog’s wp-admin dir where it is supposed to perform a database update. Instead I got a page full of errors. The first went something like this:

Warning: array_keys() [function.array-keys]: The first argument should be an array wp-includes/widgets.php on line 686

Commenting the line above (by adding // to the beginning of it) fixed the problem. Just fyi.

I started this interview process trying to get my kiddos top ten summer activities but all the boys had to say was video games, swimming, and playing. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get anything else out of them.

On the other hand, my 2 1/2 year old was more than willing to talk to me. As a matter of fact, even when the interview was over, she kept talking and pointed to my paper so I could write down what she was saying.

Me: What is your favorite thing to do in the summer?

Daughter: Running with the boys. Wearing my brothers shirts. Playing with dinosaurs. Not hurting everybody. (she tends to chase the dog and I have to tell her to leave the dog alone. The dog doesn’t know that she won’t hurt her.) Running with horses and doggies.

Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Daughter: I’m not growing up.

Me: What is your favorite food?

Daughter: Macaroni and Cheese (funny, she NEVER eats it. She won’t even take a bite.)

Me: What is your favorite color?

Daughter: Green, black, and green and yellow.

Me: What is your favorite drink?

Daughter: Juice, water and milk.

Me: What is your favorite song?

Daughter: Jonas Brothers.

Me: What is your favorite job?

Daughter: Playing with shirts.

Me: What is your favorite animal?

Daughter: Dinosaurs.

Me: I love you. Thank you for answering my questions.

Daughter: You’re welcome.

Lately my nine year old has been backtalking and talking with a know-it-all tone of voice. If we tell him something he already knows it and has no problem letting us know we are not as smart as him. He also chooses to not believe us when we explain something to him because he’s knows the truth and it’s not what we have told him.

I know every child will probably go through this. I know we came upon this much sooner than we thought. I mean really, shouldn’t this happen when they are teenagers?

My question to you is this…how do you discipline your child when they behave this way? I’ll go first.  I have been taking away his video games and explaining to him why I took it away. I also warn him before the games are taken away so he has time to change his attitude.

Part of the bench in front of my house.

Welcome to my ninth week of the Ragamuffin Top Challenge. I have to say that I am finally starting to see some results. The numbers on the scale are slowly going down and so far this is my best week. Once again I have met my goal of exercising three times a week for at least 30 minutes. I have actually put in more time than that but I want to be realistic since some weeks finding time to exercise is difficult.

Ways I have accomplished my weight loss:

• My husband and I weigh ourselves each evening and record the weight in a spreadsheet. He has it rigged so that it will give us our average weight for the week as we enter data. This has been helpful in staying on track with my exercise and food choices. I can also see how my monthly female times affect my weight. Did you know that I gain weight while PMSing? Neither did I.
• A friend gave us her elliptical because she did not like it. I however love it. I always do great with exercise until winter comes and then fall off the wagon, gain back the weight I lost and then gain more weight. Now I am able to exercise if I’m not able to get outside to walk/run.
• The same friend showed me the FreeZone channel with exercise shows so I have something else to do when I can’t get outside.
• I’ve started the Couch-to-5k Running Plan. It has helped me with my running since one of my ultimate goals is to run more/walk less. I’m only on week one but it is similar to what I was doing when I first started running.
• I’ve been keeping a food journal. I use food labels and calorieking.com to track my calorie intake.
• I’ve been working on my dedication. My husband mentioned that if I had as much dedication for exercise than I had for my blog the weight would come off. You know he’s right. My dedication for exercise was null and void until this challenge.

Why is it I can be accountable to a bunch of strangers yet couldn’t remain accountable to myself, friends, and family? My theory is that there is no pressure for instant results. I don’t feel like you are dissecting me trying to see if I have lost any weight. I can be honest and don’t feel as though I’m being judged. If I don’t reach my goal because of laziness or “one of those weeks” there is always encouragement. Plus it’s nice being part of something where every goal is different.

Mine is to exercise three times a week for at least 30 minutes. I’m also incorporating running into my walk because I love the way I feel after a walk/run. Others are trying to lose a few pounds while some are training for marathons. We are all part of a community that is trying to take better care of ourselves. It’s not too late to join!

By the way, here’s my weight for the week:

This is the account of how I a girl who wouldn’t write in journals for fear of others reading them came to write a blog. I first started reading blogs but am not exactly sure how I stumbled across that, probably from my husband since he’s the techy guy and I’m not (techy or a guy). I started reading Dooce and Pioneer Woman. If you are not reading them you need to be. Seriously. (I am much more pleasant now that I have been reading Dooce because I laugh so freaking hard).

Anyway, back to me. I got to where I was reading about five different blogs and kept wondering, “Should I start a blog?” Now where the heck did that thought come from? Why would I want a blog on the internet for everyone to see? What did I have to say that others would want to hear? Why did I want a blog? Was this some passing phase? (Almost a year later I would have to say it’s not a phase.)

So I started practice blogging. That’s where I wrote “posts” and make Best Friend and Hubby read them. They had to critique them to see if they made sense and were worth “publishing”. You see, I didn’t do very well in English and can’t remember the grammar rules to save my life so if I was going to publish live I didn’t want to look like a total idiot. A partial idiot I can handle but a total idiot is too much for me.

While I was writing practice posts I was also researching free blog hosts along with looking at others blogs to see what style I liked. I chose WordPress because I liked the way it looked, it was clean, had lots of white space, and it’s main page was informative. (I eventually purchased my own domain name and used WordPress as my blogging software.)

I then took the plunge and signed up for an account which officially made me a blogger. I called Best Friend and Hubby to let them know I did it! I had blog! After talking about it for a month (or longer) I finally did it! Yeah me! I was excited to share my news! Of course I couldn’t get a hold of either one of them and my kiddos didn’t show the proper amount of amazement.

At first I posted my practice posts but that was only a few. I still had lots of more days left and no more posts. Finding something to write about every day was difficult so I didn’t post regularly. I knew I needed to post often in order to retain a readership because I had quit reading some blogs that went weeks between posts (this was before I discovered Google Reader). I started keeping a journal and brainstorming for ideas. I kept a notebook or paper/pen in almost every room in my home so I could easily write down thoughts or ideas. I became obsessed.

I am constantly looking for ways to improve blog. I even read blogs about blogs. I read blogs out of my genre like Fervent Coder and Coding Horror. What the heck do I know about coding? Nothing but they are blogs and I can learn from their style and won’t be distracted because it’s not in my niche. Not only is Fervent Coder out of my niche but he promotes Windows and I use Linux. Coding Horror is a blog I read about on someone’s blog (the one who suggested reading outside of my genre and I can’t remember which blog said that). My eyes tend to glaze over when reading their sites but every once in awhile I actually understand something they are saying.

Which brings me to Google Reader. With so many blogs to read how do you stay on top of them? You can do what I did for almost a year and bookmark them in a folder named Blogs and open all the blogs into your browser at the same time or…you can subscribe to the blogs and use Google Reader to manage them for you. Google Reader will update your blog subscriptions so when your blog author posts then it is available for you to read. If they haven’t posted yet then you don’t have anything to read. It’s much easier to read your blogs this way than to open each and every one only to find out they haven’t posted yet. I would be opening twenty blogs and maybe a handful of those blogs had been updated. Google Reader handles all of that for me. It’s quick, easy, and makes my blog reading much more enjoyable (as in I’ve subscribed to three times as many blogs now that I’m using Google Reader). There are other readers out there but I like Google Reader because I already had a Google account.

Toblerone at Simple Mom has an excellent, step-by-step article on how to subscribe to blogs. I highly recommend reading it because it will save you precious time in the end. Blogging is fun and addictive. If you don’t have a blog you should at least be reading blogs. While you’re at it…why don’t you subscribe to my blog.

Christian Fiction Blog Alliance

is introducing

Painted Dresses

(WaterBrook Press - July 15, 2008)

by

Patricia Hickman

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Patricia Hickman is an award-winning author of fiction and non-fiction, whose work has been praised by critics and readers alike.

Patricia Hickman began writing many years ago after an invitation to join a writer’s critique group. It was headed up by best-selling author Dr. Gilbert Morris, a pioneer in Christian fiction who has written many best selling titles. The group eventually came to be called the “Nubbing Chits”. All four members of the original “Chits” have gone on to become award-winning and best selling novelists (good fruit, Gil!).

Patty signed her first multi-book contract with Bethany House Publishers. After she wrote several novels “for the market”, she assessed her writer’s life and decided she would follow the leanings of her heart. She says, “It had to be God leading me into the next work which wound up being my first break-out book, Katrina’s Wings. I had never read a southern mainstream novel, yet I knew that one lived in my head, begging to be brought out and developed.” She wanted to create deeper stories that broke away from convention and formula. From her own journey in life, she created a world based upon her hometown in the 70’s, including Earthly Vows and Whisper Town from the Millwood Hollow Series.

Patty and her husband, Randy, have planted two churches in North Carolina. Her husband pastors Family Christian Center, located in Huntersville. The Hickmans have three children, two on earth and one in heaven. Their daughter, Jessi, was involved in a fatal automobile accident in 2001. Through her writing and speaking, Patty seeks to offer help, hope and encouragement to those who walk the daily road of loss and grief.

ABOUT THE BOOK

In this story of sisterhood and unexpected paths, Gaylen Syler-Boatwright flees her unraveling marriage to take refuge in a mountain cottage owned by her deceased aunt. Burdened with looking after her adult sister, Delia, she is shocked to find a trail of family secrets hidden within her aunt’s odd collection of framed, painted dresses. With Delia, who attracts trouble as a daily occupation, Gaylen embarks on a road trip that throws the unlikely pair together on a journey to painful understanding and delightful revelations.

Steeped in Hickman’s trademark humor, her spare writing voice, and the bittersweet pathos of the South, Painted Dresses powerfully captures a woman’s desperate longing to uncover a hidden, broken life and discover the liberty of living authentically, even when the things exposed are shrouded in shame.

If you would like to read the first chapter, go HERE