I have a greater respect for single mothers (and military wives). I am in awe of them.
Being brought up by a single mother I have always had respect for them. Since my husband has been working away from home these past several months (and more in the future) my respect for single mothers has been renewed.
I used to wonder ‘How do they do it?’. Now I know. You just do it. There isn’t another option and there isn’t a backup. You suck it up and do what needs to be done.
Sometimes you just need a break. What do you do? There isn’t a hubby around to watch the kiddos while you go out and you’re funds are limited so getting a babysitter isn’t always an option.
Some things I have done to keep sane is to make good use of my time (especially after kiddos are in bed), rely on friends, family and even my church family. Now is not the time for me to play the martyr and not ask for help.
Make good use of my time:
I try to keep the house straightened up so when youngest goes down for a nap I can do what I want. (FlyLady originally helped me and I have since done my own thing). I will trade off from reading a book (usually for CFBA or FIRST), blogging , or writing. This is the time I have set aside for my ‘work’. My work is enjoyable but my most fun things are done after the kiddos are in bed. This is my relaxing time. I may pour a glass of wine and read or I may knit or I may take a hot bubble bath. I try not to get on the computer because it eats up so much of my time. Kiddos go to bed by 8:00pm and I go to bed at 10:00pm. This gives me approximately two hours to myself, after I’ve straightened up the house again (which doesn’t take long because I’ve been straightening up during the day).
Rely on friends:
I have to get out of the house every once in awhile so sometimes I go out for coffee with friends or I go to their house for coffee. Most of the time my friends come over here so that way youngest kiddo has all her toys and is in her element.
Friendships are important. Without my friends I would have gone crazy a long time ago. Not only do your friends help you out by watching kiddos every once in awhile so I can finish Christmas shopping, they usually don’t charge you. Especially if you watch their kiddos sometime. I do not know what I will do when we move (more on that on another day).
Rely on family:
I have had to humble myself and ask for help. I can not do it all by myself. There is no way to justify it when my family is so close. When I’m not feeling well I will call them and see if they can help with the kiddos.
This evening the eldest two have cub scouts. I don’t feel well so what did I do. I called my mother-in-law to see if she would take them. She said yes. If she couldn’t I would have called sister-in-law. When hubby took this new job they offered to help and I will take them up on that. There is no need for me to go crazy just because I am too prideful to ask for help.
Rely on church family:
I don’t know about most churches but our church has several children’s programs. One on Sunday morning and another on Wednesday evening. No, they aren’t child care. However, I can at least be alone for a bit while learning about God.
I also go to a home group that has child care. This gives me a chance to interact with other adults. You know. Adult conversation.
Sometimes our church will have women’s events where child care is usually provided for a small donation. This is definitely cheaper than hiring a babysitter and once again I get to have adult conversation.
Those are some of the things I do to keep from going insane while hubby is off working for several months at a time. I hope they will help you and if you have any suggestions feel free to leave a comment.










